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Ask and Ye Shall succeed

I love to help people to create the lives that they love. As I was reflecting on this I recognized that many times in my past I’ve failed in asking for help for myself. I don’t know how this pattern got started, but if I could do something myself, I would just do it rather than “impose” on someone else. On many occasions, after I completed a task alone, others would ask me “why didn’t you call me for help – I would have been happy to help you?”

In my mind, I had created a “story” that included the benefits of doing things myself; “I wouldn’t impose on others, I wouldn’t be disappointed if someone said NO, I didn’t have to look weak or incapable.”  How in the world did I learn to create those ideas?

As I analyzed this pattern more, I realized that I wasn’t the only person who felt this way. In looking deeper, I uncovered a fear about possible rejection and separation that many of us share.  Author Amanda Palmer, explains it this way; “From what I've seen, it isn't so much the act of asking that paralyzes us--it's what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one. It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another.”

Have you experienced this fear pattern too?

I heard a great speaker recently who shared how in the midst of a Storm as in an unexpected terrible situation, it can feel like we’re not going to make it. We can feel ready to give up and wonder “where is God in all of this?” The speaker reminded the audience that only we have the power to choose how to view and react to any situation. As part of that process, we can choose to be a victim and give up or choose to be a victor and survive. It’s a matter of attitude.

Viktor Frankl was a holocaust survivor and the author of a number of books including “Man’s Search for Meaning”. An incredible storm of injustice and terror was thrust upon Frankl and millions of other Jewish people. None of us, unless you’d actually been there, could possibly imagine what Viktor Frankl and others experienced in Nazi concentration camps. This was a terrible storm filled with horror, pain and suffering. Frankl tells us “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” I agree – attitude is vital for survival. Attitude as words, thoughts and emotions, were keys for Frankl in enduring the horrendous situation he was put in.

I read a story that Ernest Holmes wrote about praying for another person for good health and freedom from an addiction. Holmes and his friend spent several hours proclaiming out loud the Truth about the other person who was in a different hotel room down the hall. They affirmed that the person was whole and complete, free from addiction, living a peaceful and healthy life. Holmes calls this form of praying, spiritual mind treatment. Holmes would proclaim his truth affirmations for several minutes, then his friend would do the same. They did this for several hours, back and forth until they both believed the truth in the statement. Then, they went to sleep. The next morning, the man with the addiction told them that he felt free and handed them the unfinished bottle of liquor. According to Holmes, the man had remained sober.

I sometimes wonder if my prayers for others work. This kind of story helps me to know that they do. There is an added element that is necessary for prayers to work in accordance with the outcomes that we desire. That’s faith in the power of your prayers. Do you believe that it’s possible for someone to be healed? Do you believe that it’s possible to live in peace with family, friends, co-workers and community? Do you believe that it’s possible to be free with the financial support necessary to live a good life? Do you believe that it’s possible to live an easy and joyful life with fulfilling and satisfying work?

Have you ever overheard a conversation where someone was disparaging people that they clearly have never met? As I was at an airport recently, I happened to overhear a group at another table saying how much they despised a few people who are rich and have more than they do. They spent almost 30 minutes condemning these wealthy people for not sharing their money and resources with them and others. They used phrases like “it’s not fair”, “they must have taken an unethical short cut” and “they don’t deserve to have all of that.” I found it remarkable that none of these people had personally met the wealthy people that they were criticizing.

While listening to their conversation, it made me sad. I recognized that we can sometimes forget the Spiritual Truths and Universal Laws in which we operate. These Laws operate whether we recognize them or not.  I thought that it would be a great time to have a review and help you to “remember to remember” the following Truths: